With three boys I am daily reminding them to keep their hands
and feet to themselves. They like to
wrestle, jump on each other and someone daily seems to be making unwanted
contact with the other.
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| These little angels hit....never! |
This past week my youngest son who is three hit another child
in his class. Now if it was one of the
children in the class that is always hitting the other children I probably
wouldn’t have given it much thought, not that it is okay to hit for any reason. But he hit a child who I know to be quite
passive, quiet and very nice. I felt so
bad for the other child and thought “why did you hit him?” “What could he have possibly done to you?” Of course I reminded him that it is not nice
to hit anyone, and not okay to push or kick our friends. I asked him if he liked it when someone hit
him and tried to remind him that we do not hit for any reason, but I am sure
I’ll be having this conversation with him tomorrow in regards to his brothers.
Well this incident reminded me of the time my first born was
bit by another child in class, and not just a bite mark with temporary teeth
marks left on the skin, there was a quarter size chunk taken out of his cheek,
he had just turned two and was just moved into the two year old classroom from
the nursery and one year olds.
I went to pick up my child from his class; he wasn’t crying
just playing with toys. I immediately
saw the band aid across his face. The
teacher quickly came over and sincerely apologized for my child being bit and I
completely understand and thankfully understood then too as a new mom that as a
teacher in a class with multiple children it happens, you can’t always prevent
a bite, or someone toppling over. I have
worked in the nursery at my church, volunteered in the class rooms with 5-12
year olds and it happens there too, not biting but scuffles be that physical or
emotional by words exchanged. I
currently teach the twos and threes Sunday School class with my child in it,
I’ll write about that another time.
As I carried my son who was bit out to the car I began to
cry, I didn’t cry because I was mad at the other child or mad at that child’s
parents, I didn’t even give that any thought.
Side note I am so grateful the teachers didn’t call me back to class
immediately when it happened if I went back to the class while he was crying I
would have fell apart, it would have broken my heart even more. I cried because I felt so bad for him, that
he had to experience pain. I cried
because as a mom I want to protect my children from hurtful things happening to
them. I thought what could I have done
different, did I prepare him to enter the two year old class. I try to pray protection over my children
whenever they go somewhere so I was retracing in my mind did I pray today
before I dropped him off at class. Remember
not only was this was my first child but naturally I am an over thinker. My husband often reminds me to stop
overthinking every situation.
This wasn’t a naïve first time mom emotion though, I have had
this emotion recently when I watched my middle son feel excluded from a group
of kids and just a couple of days ago when two of my boys were horse playing
and one was pushed into the TV stand and obtained a gash on his cheek my heart
aches for the pain they are experiencing.
As moms we desire for our children to be happy and safe at all times we
want to protect them from experiencing pain.
As a mom of three boys I realize there will be scratches and bruises
I have seen plenty of that.
In writing this post I hope I encourage you. No matter how much we train our children to
not bite, hit other kids, or have tantrums.
Sometimes it happens, sometimes they have had a rough day, sometimes
they are reacting to change taking place at home or reacting to the stress and
pressures that their parents are experiencing and sometimes they are just being
kids learning how to handle their emotions and actions. We can’t always prevent our children from
being hurt and we can’t always prevent our children from being the one that
hits or bites another child. But we can
use each situation as a learning opportunity, we can encourage our kids that
they are loved and wanted if they are the ones hurt and we can encourage and
train our kids that this kind of behavior is not okay if they are the one
hurting someone else.
When your child does hit or bite another child don’t avoid
the parents because of embarrassment, rather apologize, have your child
apologize. As a parent who has
experienced both, my child being hit and bit and as a parent who has had my
child hit someone else’s child. I think
it’s so much better to address the situation then to avoid it. I know children need to work out their own
conflicts at times, and each situation is different. But it is nice and refreshing when I see a
parent having their child apologize for inappropriate behavior instead of just
looking the other way or just picking up and abandoning the incident with no
acknowledgment.
Thanks for reading as I embrace a new upcoming week of
reminding my boys to keep their hands and feet to themselves. I am reminded of how important repetition is in
parenting, even though it’s not always fun kind of like laundry and cleaning “wash,
rinse, and repeat.”
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