My Picky Eater

I have three boys, one is extremely picky, one is a little picky and one eats everything.  My extremely picky eater was a good eater when he was a baby; he became picky when he was around two years old.  There are a number of factors that come into play with his pickiness, I know I ultimately enabled him and at times I feel like a horrible mom for this.  I hate that he’s not getting a balanced diet.  I hate that he doesn’t enjoy himself as much when it comes to meal time when visiting friends and other family members.

Here are a couple reasons why I believe he is so picky; or what some would call my excuses.  First he didn’t get his first tooth in until after he turned one, and as a paranoid first time mom, I didn’t think his gums could chew steak, so I fed him easier to chew foods, (not the same with baby #2 & #3, they ate off our plates, and ate everything) he did great eating peas, green beans, squash, I gave him lots of veggies, he ate them so even though I was an overprotective first time mom, not giving him milk and eggs until well after his first birthday he did eat a variety of things.  After he turned one and I introduced whole milk in his diet he only drank white milk, took the pacifier away at 6 months, took the bottle away at 11 months, never went to bed with a bottle, just giving some background, I didn’t spoil and coddle and only give him what he wanted he didn't have chocolate milk and candy all the time. 

When he turned two, he got sick and for a two week time span was throwing up, lost a lot of weight, was dehydrated, would not move, it was a scary kind of sick.  Antibiotics were not working, thankfully after prayer from the elders at our church who came to our house and prayed over him and after standing on scripture for his healing we saw an immediate recovery.  After those two weeks of throwing up, he went through a stage where he wouldn’t touch milk, wouldn’t drink milk, only water and apple juice for about three months, eventually he went back to milk but it was during this time he became picky in his eating and wouldn’t budge.    Then you also throw in the times my husband and I have gone on a low carb eating trend, so when we ate steak and salad, I happily whipped up a box of mac n cheese for the boys, because it was easy and I wasn’t eating potatoes and other side dishes, so it was easier to feed them typical kid food (chicken nuggets, corndogs, etc.) and us to stick to our diet plan, not the brightest thing to do to instill healthy eating habits in your children. 

I’ve been through many phases of dealing with a picky eater.  I am a perfectionist, type A personality, first born, whatever you want to call it.  So I went through the control phase of I am in charge, you are not, you will eat whatever is placed before you.  We took away all snacks and said if you don’t eat this you don’t get anything until breakfast.  We spent hours sitting at the dinner table trying to get him to finish his meal.  We had dinner times, where I was crying, he was crying and feeling completely at a loss of what to do.  I went through the stage where I didn’t care anymore and was like just eat whatever I don’t care, I give up. 

Just to give you an idea of how picky I am talking about.  My extreme picky eater when it comes to meat only eats chicken, hotdogs and fish sticks no beef of any kind.  He’s tried a hamburger, and other meat products, but other than a coaxed one bite, won’t touch it.  He will eat hash browns, but not mashed potatoes, not French fries, what kid doesn't eat French fries, not that they’re healthy for you but still.  He’ll devour spaghetti, yet will take what seems like hours to eat lasagna.  We are not talking about making him eat lentils and kidney beans.  

My husband and I are both adventurous eaters, we will try anything and enjoy most things.  That being said we both were picky eaters when we were kids, which gives me hope for my kids.  My mom tells me I was extremely picky until I went to elementary school, and each year of school I adventured out and started trying new things and liking them.  My husband didn’t become an adventurous eater until he married me, he is known by his siblings and friends as the guy who ate crackers for lunch.  You would frequently find him only having wheat thins or Ritz for lunch. 

My extremely picker eater, tries a lot more new foods now.  He actually takes initiative in trying new things, I’m grateful and hopeful.  When I tell people I have three boys, they frequently reply they will eat you out of house and home, which actually sounds appealing to me since my two older sons eat like birds.

I have come to the place, where I don’t want to fight at dinner time, we expect him to take a bite and try what is for dinner, but if he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t eat.  I don’t punish him as long as he tries something, now he doesn’t get a giant bowl of ice cream either after not eating dinner, but if he gives it a honest attempt, he can have fruit and other snacks in the evening. 

I don’t make completely different meal options, but when I can for the sake of my sanity and peace in

our home, I modify meals to accommodate.  For example when I make pork enchiladas, I’ll make a quesadilla for my sons.  I have the tortillas and cheese out for the enchiladas, it’s much quicker and easier and everyone gets to sit together and eat in peace, that’s my goal to eat as a family happily.  You’ve heard the term pick your battles, that’s the phase I am in right now.  There are some things he has to force his way through, like I won’t make spaghetti for them and lasagna for us, when we have lasagna, he has to eat that even though he is the last one up from the table because it takes him longer.  When we barbecue hamburgers, I’ll make them a hot dog and if we have left overs of a meal they enjoyed then I’ll let them have leftovers the next day.

Thankfully my youngest son eats everything, all types of meat, broccoli, asparagus and other veggies, salad, everything, at least I have one easy eater.  My second born son is somewhat picky but not as much as my first born, which I think the pickiness he has is from watching his older brother’s struggle with food. 

If you have kids who are great eaters, thank God every day, it really is a blessing!  If you have a picky eater like me, don’t give up introducing new foods.  Every chance we get we encourage trying new things, but I won’t fight anymore or stress over it or beat myself up about it anymore.  I believe and hope he’ll grow out of this, even if it’s when he gets married and will try new food because he’s fallen head over heels for his wife, I pray it’s earlier for his benefit not only mine.  Food is great way to travel the world without leaving your home.  Food can be a creative outlet, and food has a way of bringing people together. 

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