My husband is currently traveling for work, he has traveled
before in other occupations as well. Although
I had become accustomed to him not traveling with his last employer and having
a schedule where we was home every day between 4:30 and 5 PM, which was really
nice.
When he started his current employment I knew travel was
going to be involved, and he started right off traveling about once a month he
would be gone anywhere from three nights to a week. At first it was so new I think both he and I
were excited about his complete career change that it didn’t really phase me. After the first few times, I found it was
hard to fall asleep at night and other than being able to feed the kids pancakes
and cereal for dinner, I did not really look forward to him traveling. He has not traveled the last few months but
was away this past week.
Even though it is not always fun being apart and it takes
some getting used to. I want to talk about
the benefits to having a spouse that travels for work. First it makes you appreciate them in a
greater way. I realize how familiar I
can be with my husband, taking out the trash, helping tuck the kids in at night. I know sometimes you can feel like your
husband does not help you as much as you would like, but I realize just their
presence in the home, makes a difference with how the kids behave, and the flow
of family activities, getting ready for dinner, cleaning up dinner, story time,
and just being together. When they are
gone, you realize how much they really do help.
Have you heard that statement absence makes the heart grow fonder? Unfortunately it’s true, sometimes we take
for granted our spouse. When he travels
I realize how grateful I am to have him.
It makes me think of the service men and women who travel and are deployed
for months and years at a time away from their families. It makes me think of the single parents who
parent alone all the time. It makes me
grateful for the jokes he tells, that when he is home sometimes I can think
they are annoying, but when he is gone, I miss the conversation, the you tube
video’s he has me watch, and the adult conversation he provides.
It is nice to be able to prepare quick and easy meals for
the kids while my husband travels, but then it is also nice when my husband
returns, I look forward to cooking and eating real food, instead of kid
food. I know it is fun for him to eat
out while he is traveling, but I also know he appreciates coming home to home
cooked meals, I will prepare his favorite dishes in the days of his return.
I am grateful that he is working and has a job, I am not whining
about his travel, and I am sure it is good for him to get a break from the
office and his crazy wife and kids at times.
Here are some things that help the time apart go
faster. I went to lunch with a friend
one day, visited another friend on another day.
My mom and sister so graciously took the boys and I out for dinner on
our normal “date night”, which I so very much appreciated. Because its things, like remembering tonight
is our date night and he is a way that makes you miss them more. My sister in-law so kindly offered to watch
the boys for a few hours on a Saturday so I could run some errands without
visiting each establishments potty and chasing a little one as you mom’s know
how that goes. I was extremely grateful
that my boys had fun, and a break in their routine and I also was able to
accomplish some things and visit, again things that help the time go by.
Another benefit to having your spouse travel for work, is
you have extra time to read, do those DIY projects, blog, or whatever hobby or
extracurricular activity you may have. I
know sometimes I want to read, write, or do something and my husband wants my
attention, or wants me to watch a show with him without my laptop in front of
me. When your spouse is away on travel
you can take advantage of the time to read that book you have not made time
for.
Thank God for all the technology we have these days, when my
husband travels the boys and I are able to Skype, text, and call which is a
huge benefit. If you have not tried Skype before I highly recommend it. Another thing I am
extremely grateful for, is my husband will text at night and see if baths are
done and he can talk to the boys before bed.
Many times with the time difference depending on where he is traveling,
when he is ready for bed, we can be just walking in the door from church, or an
activity. I am grateful that he will
find out when is a good time that the boys are settled and ready to talk on the
phone. I am grateful that he is
sensitive enough to be aware of what may be going on in our end of the world. 
Some other things that we try to do when we know he is going
to be traveling for work, is we will schedule a family outing or game night
right before he leaves and when he comes home, that way the kids have quality
time with dad before he goes and when he returns. I think it helps set the tone for happy
memories of daddy leaving and returning, instead of fostering a sadness that daddy
is traveling.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or invite yourself over to a
friend’s house. I know I am very
grateful for the times family and friends know my husband is away and they
invite us over or out somewhere, but I also know everyone is busy with their
families too and sometimes might not know your husband is traveling for work. I know it can be lonely when he travels for
longer periods of time or in frequent spurts, and there have been times when I
called a friend and said hey I need some adult conversation and need to get out
of the house will you meet the kids and I at the park, or can we come over and
hang out for a bit. There have been
times when I needed help moving something or fixing something again, something we
take for granted is having Mr. Fix it around and handy, don’t try to do it
alone, if you need help ask a neighbor or a friend. I find people are usually more than willing
to help if you ask.
Last but not least, enjoy letting your kids build tents in
the front room and leaving it up since dad won’t see the mess when he gets home
from work that day. Enjoy sitting in the
backyard and watching your kids play, instead of constantly cleaning, and straightening. This is something I enjoy when my husband is
away for work, you don’t have to let your house be a disaster, but you can let
the kids enjoy their toys and wait till the evening to clean up before
bed. I find my kids are excited to help clean and
prepare the house the day or day before dad is coming home, they appreciate
that mom let them keep their Lego's out the last couple days but now it’s time
to clean-up and get ready for daddy to come home.
I hope some of the things that help us will help you the
next time your spouse travels and if you don’t have a spouse that travels, give
them an extra big hug and kiss and let them know how much you appreciate them
for whatever it is they help with; putting the kids in bed, cleaning up dinner,
or keeping the kids busy so you can clean up.
They do make a difference and it is nice to have two extra hands around
the house, make sure you step back and realize how life would be different if
they were not there to make you laugh (aka annoy you). Be grateful that you have someone lying next
to you in bed at night, even if they do steal the blankets or switch the
pillows, these are all the things you miss when they are gone. Recognize that both of you add to your family
and household dynamic, life and parenting sure is a lot more fun when you have
someone with you for the journey.
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