Avoid Debt At All Costs This Christmas

With Christmas upon us, I know it easy to feel the pressure to purchase gifts for friends and family.  I love Christmas, I love gifts, I am not trying to be the Grinch but when you have debt already, it is not wise for your relationships, health or financial picture to go deeper into debt for Christmas.

There are plenty of ways you can express your love and appreciation to family members without spending a lot of money.

Ideally you should budget all year long for Christmas, and pick up gifts while on sale all year long, to avoid an extra-large surge of expense for Christmas. 

Even with budgeting for Christmas though, if you owe on your credit cards, other debts, need tires for your vehicle, shoes for your children.  Is spending that money though “allocated” for Christmas really wise?  Let me answer that for you . . .NO!  

I have had Christmas seasons where I have budgeted and planned properly and Christmas shopping and gift giving is extremely enjoyable.  I have had Christmas seasons where I went into debt and spent more than I should have on Christmas and it is not fun going into January paying on Christmas, where many times the gifts you purchased are already broken, lost, or forgotten about.  I also have had tighter financial times during Christmas where I did not purchase gifts, though it’s not the most exciting place to be in, your family and friends will understand.  You will not have the additional stress and deeper debt.  

If you are in a tight financial spot and unable to participate in the family gift exchange or purchase gifts for family and friends, let them know.  Explain, we are having a tighter financial time and we won’t be able to participate in gift giving this Christmas, don’t feel pressure to purchase my family or I presents this year, we will not be purchasing gifts for anyone.  

It’s important to discuss this with your children as well, especially if they are older, the great thing about little kids is you could re-wrap some toys they haven’t played with for a while and they would not know the difference.  You could let them unwrap their favorite snacks which are already in your cupboards and they would be excited about that.  With older kids, be honest, share with them that you have not made the wisest choices with your finances and will be unable to purchase Christmas gifts this year.  Give them ideas that you can do together that will still make the holidays special, can you pull out all your board games and play games together every night, can you bake cookies or build gingerbread houses together.  Ask them what would make Christmas special for them and remind them of how blessed they are.  Children would rather spend time with happy parents, than have the newest toy on the market with parents who are stressed and fighting on not “present” because of money spent on presents.  

If you don’t have debt, have some money budgeted thought not a lot, think of witty ideas to stretch that money.  It is the thought that counts and not so much the gifts.   I don’t know about you, but I know my children, nieces and nephews have plenty of toys, no one really “needs” toys.  If you have a larger family, can the kids draw names and exchange gifts with one of their cousins, can the adults refrain from gift exchanging?  One year the adult kids in my husband’s family exchanged gift cards, we drew a name and bought one gift card for that person, this way we didn’t have to each purchase 12 gifts.   Can you do a family gift basket that has a Redbox rental, bag of popcorn and box of candy in it?  Can you purchase a board game for the entire family to enjoy?  You could do a family scavenger hunt together, you could do a cookie baking party together, where everyone brings something to bake cookies together, again, it’s the time spent together as a family that really matters more than the “things” purchased and exchanged.  

Find out what will work for your family and then get the conversation started call your parents and brothers and sisters share that you don’t have the finances to purchase gifts this year for everyone, what can we do together to express love and gratitude.  What can we do together to make it fun and memorable for the children without incurring debt.

You could offer to go put up Christmas lights on a  family members house, co-workers house, someone you want to give a gift to, that is a huge gift, I know I would greatly appreciate.  

You could offer to babysit their children so they could go on a date night, or Christmas shopping if it’s in their budget.  You could offer to help clean or organize a room, garage, house for them.

The idea is not just to avoid Christmas and gift buying, but to change your spending and planning habits so in the future you can have the Christmas you dream of.  

I have heard Dave Ramsey say he hears people say every Christmas how Christmas has snuck up on them, Christmas is every December every year, it does not sneak up on anyone, with a little planning and purpose, you don’t have to go into debt for Christmas.  

Don’t get sucked into the store sales, commercialism and consumerism avoid going into debt at all costs, the cost of your pride, the cost of shame and embarrassment.  Remind yourself of the stress debt brings, the strife it brings to your relationship if you are married, how it affects your children when you are on edge due to financial pressure.  

Evaluate your financial picture, recognize what is most important and then enjoy Christmas pressure free.  Communicate with your loved ones what you can or cannot do and then think of witty ideas of how you can express love and gratitude to those around you through acts of service and quality time spent together.  

Christmas will be over before you know it, is it really worth going into debt and paying for months to come, for the minutes it takes for your loved one to unwrap a gift that most times, they don’t even really want.  

Purpose this Christmas to make future Christmas seasons easier financially by properly planning.  You should make a list of everyone you would like to purchase a gift for and then keep that list with you throughout the upcoming year, watch for sales and deals on things for the people on your list.  Purchase something for your list each month and put away for Christmas.

Thank you for reading if you’ve enjoyed the content you’ve read above please share with your friends.

www.BlogAboutItAll.com

The Five Love Languages

Have you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  I highly recommend the book.  The book is helpful for all, married, single, parents, if you have people in your life, you will benefit from reading this book.

The Five Love Languages, author Dr. Gary Chapman explains how people communicate and receive love in different ways, he shares the wonderful things that happen when you learn to speak each other's language. 

Chapters are categorized by love language and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction.  He has a book specifically for children and teens for greater detail in how to express love to them, if you read any of the books you will be able to apply the principles to all relationships.

The five love languages discussed in the book are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

The person who is Words of Affirmation appreciates encouraging words and compliments.  Their love tank is filled when you express your love to them through spoken words, written cards and letters and affirm them.  With this person you want to avoid harsh words and criticism.  My oldest son is Words of Affirmation, I know every child does well with praise, with words of affirmation as his love language he shines and excels with words of affirmation.  When he is being affirmed with words, he is happier, and more outgoing.  He shines and beams with joy and love.  

The person who is Quality Time feels loved when you spend quality time with them, that is time with no interruptions, undivided attention, and one to one conversations.  You can fill their love tank by running errands with them, taking trips, doing things together, going on walks and sitting and talking at home.  My husband is quality time, and our get-a-ways that we take together are extremely important in our relationship.  I also find he doesn’t appreciate when we are doing something together, playing a game, watching a movie if I am “multi-tasking” he wants my undivided attention.  

I believe children need all five of the love languages expressed to them and appreciate them, but also just like us, they have what is most important to them.  I have son that although he is young only five, I can tell he leans towards quality time.  If he is telling us about his day at school he wants everyone in the house listening to what he is saying, no one else can be doing anything, or any side conversations taking place.  He also is the first one to want to run an errand with me, while my other two sons, are happy to stay home and continue playing, my quality time son, jumps at the opportunity for one on one time.  With Quality Time people you want to avoid spending too much time with friends or groups, isolation and gaps of time between times spent together.

The Receiving Gifts person communicates love through gift giving and loves to receive gifts.  Remembering special occasions is important to them and giving gifts and small tokens are important.  With this person you want to avoid forgetting special events and gifts for no reason at all are important to them.  It is not about materialism or the size of the gift, but rather the love they feel when they know you thought of them and purchased or made a gift for them.

The Acts of Service person feels loved when you say “What can I do for you?” “I will stop and get that for you” “Today, I did this for you” they greatly appreciate when you assist with house chores and you have ongoing acts of helpfulness.  You want to avoid forgetting promises and over commitment of tasks.

The person who is Physical Touch feels loved with pleasant facial expressions, hugs, pats, touches, sitting close, holding hands.  You want to avoid physical touch in a negative way, threats, and neglect.  I discovered I was physical touch after I was married, I had read the book before marriage and thought I was a gifts person, which was a big way that I expressed love to my friends and family, gifts and dates of special occasions are important to me.  I grew up in a home that was not very touchy, we didn’t hug and kiss a lot, my family loved each other, we were just not very physically embracing people.  Once I was married I realized how important physical touch is for me, I appreciate gifts from my husband and quality time with him, but more than any of the love languages, I need him to hold my hand, sit next to me and have times of physical touch that are not just sexually motivated.  I can see my youngest son is physical touch, all three of my boys give hugs, but he likes to cuddle the most, he likes to climb up on your lap and he’ll linger around.  He hugs friends, he hugs teachers, and he is very embracing.  

If you have not read the book, I encourage you to pick up a copy you will enjoy learning about yourself and those in your life.

If you have already read the book, I encourage you to refresh your memory of the love languages and be observant to the people in your life, not just your spouse and children, what about co-workers, extended family, people you attend church with.  Be sensitive to share love with others, someone you know may need a word of encouragement, a hug, time spent just listening to them, a gift of thoughtfulness or an act of service you can do for them.

In this world we live in with bullying, the pain of lost loved ones, emotionally unattached people, you could be the very person that brings love and hope to someone who is hurting and feeling lonely, feeling like no one cares or notices they exist.  As you observe those close to you, you can learn their love language and then reach out to them with the things that mean the most to them.

I know my parents loved me the best they could, but how much more they could have expressed that love if they knew how much I longed for hugs, and the close knit relationships I witnessed in other families who shared those embraces.  As a mom now myself, I know I am not perfect and will make plenty of mistakes, I appreciate reading books like this that prompt me to be aware of what my children need in a greater way to feel loved and appreciated.  I have watched at different times, when my children are not behaving as well as I would like them, if I slow down and seek what they need, recognize at times they are crying out for greater attention or are feeling my hurried stress, as I love them in their love language their behavior changes immediately.

You can purchase The Five Love Languages here http://www.familybg.com/node/2124.

Thank you for reading if you’ve enjoyed the content you’ve read above please share with your friends.

www.BlogAboutItAll.com