Strength Made Perfect in Weakness

I was waiting the other day for my doctor appointment and I was reading my bible as I waited.  I was reading in II Corinthians and these verses 12:7-10 stuck out to me in a great way.  So I thought I would share with you.  I hope you will continue to read this post even if you are not pregnant, I hope you will be able to apply this in some way to your life.

II Corinthians 12:7-10 NKJV

⁷And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I’ve mediated on these verses in the days following, they have so encouraged me.  Being 35 weeks pregnant, I have felt helpless in some situations.  There are things I cannot move, or lift, or do and other things I cannot do as well.  

I find myself misplacing words, I can intend to say please give me the red shirt and what comes out is give me the blue shirt.  If you have been pregnant or even distracted by something taking place in your life I am sure you have experienced this as well.  The other day my toddler was at the grocery store with me and as we are loading the car with groceries, I asked him, “climb in your seat and I’ll give you your buckle.”  When I meant to say “climb in your seat, put on your buckle and I’ll give you my phone” to play a game while I finished loading groceries.  But that is not what came out and I received the blank stare that I have seen frequently lately.  My husband and my children will say that’s not what you asked me to move or bring to you.  

This even reminds me of a time, I had hurt my back and was in extreme pain, my husband and I were out and I asked the waiter for a strawberry coke and he said “you mean a cherry coke” and I would say “yes a strawberry coke” and he said it again and I did mean cherry but with the pain I was feeling my mind was elsewhere.  I laugh about it now, but I was getting upset and frustrated at the waiter and my husband had to speak up and take over because I was not handling the situation well.    

Meditating on the His Grace is sufficient for me, HIS strength is made perfect in my weakness, helps me rely and look to Him.  The other night my husband was reminding my children that things were going to change once mommy has this baby and has her full energy back.  He was telling them this because I’ve allowed more toy messes to remain, I’ve become more relaxed with some things as a result of knowing I can’t make everything perfect.  

I am naturally a take charge, get things done, but in recognizing my weakness and my need to rely on and depend on others for help has been good for me.  I feel more relaxed, I feel okay when things do not take place the way I would do them.  It is a good reminder to carry on relying on His strength and make room for others even after I’ve given birth.  

The truth is we need each other, I need my husband, although I do not always express that to him.  I need my boys as young as they are to help around the house it is good training and teaching for them, but too often, when you can do it easier, faster, and the exact way you want it done, you just do it and do not allow others to help you.  In my pregnant state, I have been forced to rely on them and it has been good for me and good for them.  This being my fourth birth, I do not feel as much stress and pressure to have everything ready, and in place.  Although things are ready and in place, I have not felt and forced on others that press, this has to be done, of my normal checklist of things.    

Last week one of my children was not feeling well and had thrown up in our bed on our comforter.  I do not do throw up, even when I am not pregnant I cannot stand the smell, but even more so being pregnant I know I cannot handle that smell.  I have not thrown up since I was a young child, I feel I did that once, did not like it, will not do that again.  I believe as a result of often stating I do not do throw up I have never had morning sickness with any of my pregnancies and my children do not throw up either.  I can count on one hand the times all of my children together have thrown up and they are 8, 6, and 4.  Anyways, I knew I could not clean up the mess, and my husband was not interested in washing and cleaning up the mess either in the middle of the night, so he said I am going to throw this comforter and bedding out and I completely agreed with him, with great joy, I was perfectly okay with that.  When I think if I was not pregnant and aware of my own weakness I would have not been happy with this decision.  I would have expressed great displeasure in this action, even though I myself would not be able to handle it.  Gratefully a friend gave us a beautiful bedding set to replace it when she found out we just threw ours out.  I did not give any thought to we would have to purchase a new one, I just went with the flow and said okay throw it out.  The Lord provided the very next day, my friend heard we had thrown out our bedding she said she had one we could have.  I just stand back at times and look at some situations I have handled and think, Lord please help me handle this the same way when I feel stronger.  The verse has become so real to me that His strength is perfected in my weakness.  I have walked in a greater grace I have walked in greater peace even though I am weak.  It is not because of me, but because of His love, His grace, His presence and my surrendering, my yielding, and recognizing my weakness, relinquishing of my rights, my way.  

Our New Bedding

Too often when we feel strong or we know we are great at a certain area, we rely on our own strength, our own talent or gift that we do not make room for others, we do not allow input from others.  We do not make room for others to grow in their strengths because we flourish in our own strength.

I just think how awesome if we can stay aware of our weakness all the time, not just in times of specific physical weakness.  The truth is we all have weakness in our life.  As a wife, I cannot complete and fulfill every need my husband has.  I have weakness as a parent, I cannot give my children everything they need spirit, soul, and body at all times.  I will make mistakes, I am not a perfect mom, wife, daughter, sister, or friend but if I would rely on His grace and allow God and others to have room, space, their way.  Not demanding my way, not demanding my pace then His grace is perfected in my weakness as I look to Him to make up the difference, as I look to Him to lead me in being a wife to my husband, as I look to Him to lead me in being a mother to my children and all the other hats I wear.  Then I am more relaxed, not only do I enjoy life at a greater level, but others enjoy being around me. 

I write this to encourage you to step back, take a breath, I know life can be stressful but as you relinquish your rights, and your way and allow God and the people in your life to help things are better for all parties involved.  

Do not be so rushed going from point A to point B, even in the everyday life tasks.  Too many of us are in a hurry, scurrying about.  Too many of us demand things to be in the place and perfect way we want it done.  I have kind of been forced to slow down with my pregnancy waddle but it has been a good thing to slow down, and enjoy my children, enjoy a slower pace.  I love not feeling so rushed, I love this Jessica that is not so pressed to have everything perfect I love this Jessica that is recognizing God’s strength is perfected in my weakness.  I am enjoying the peace I feel even when I am making those mistakes of not getting the correct sentence or request or word out, I have laughed at myself and just stand in awe of what our bodies do in carrying a baby, both the good and the uncomfortable moments.  

I also find people make room for you when you are pregnant.  They are in some way aware of your weakness if you would and offer up their strength, just like Christ, His strength perfected in our weakness.  There is nothing weak about having a baby but see the picture I am painting in light of the scripture verse I read.  Strangers and those you know, offer more help, will hold a door open, and give up their seat for you, go out and pick up that pregnancy craving you are having when in reality we should live this way all the time, not only for pregnant women but for all people.  We should be so aware of those around us and aware when they need extra help, a door held for them, a seat given up for them, a smile, or thank you card sent their way.  

So I encourage you in the days following step back, recognize your weaknesses and allow God to supply His strength, allow others in your life to supply their strengths.  Make room for others to help and offer input, make room for others to make mistakes that are not life and death.  Does that thing have to be where you had it, or is it okay where they placed it?

Look around is there someone in your life who is a little distracted either by a good thing getting married, having a baby, moving, or a more difficult thing, offer up your help, offer up encouragement and make room for them to grow through their moment, offer up your strength in their weakness.  

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Here is a beautiful song about Grace

You are Enough

With recently celebrating Mother’s Day and through some recent conversation with my husband I am reminded of the importance of being sensitive to each other.  In conversation with some fellow mom friends, not everyone loves Mother’s Day, some feel they have not been a good mother, or feel they didn’t have a good mother, and they focus on the blow it’s in their life so celebrating Mother’s Day is not fun for them.  Being a mom is hard work, being a spouse is hard work, heck being an adult is hard work.  We don’t always feel adequate, or equipped to be the person we need to be to all the people we need to be to in our lives.  

My husband was recently joking about a childhood Hollywood crush he had, she happened to be in a show we were watching, which his comment really did not bother me but I am so grateful that the very next day he apologized for the comment he made and reassured me that I am the only one he desires.  He took the time and made effort to let me know that I am enough for him, which is key in a relationship.  I love the John Legend song “All of Me”.  I love the lyrics  ‘Cause all of me loves all of you.  Love your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections.  

We all have imperfections, and some days our imperfections are magnified.  I find in any relationship that is truly what we desire, is to be loved and accepted for who we are, all our idiosyncrasies, all the quirks and things that set us off.  For example, when I am hungry or tired I am not the happiest person to be around, but I love that my husband knows that about me and accepts that about me, he does not take my "hangry" mood personal.  He can tell when I’m edgy and often makes room for me to have my moment.  Just like I have my moments my husband has his moments, times he does not express himself fully, there are times he is sensitive to my needs and there have been times in our relationship that he isn’t sensitive, yet I love him no matter what.  Likewise there have been times I have been sensitive to his needs and other times caught up in being mom or just plain selfish that I haven’t been sensitive to his needs.  We have both expressed to each other we are not going anywhere, that we love each other and I think that is key we desire to know the people in our life will not give up on us, not matter what kind of funk we may be in.

My question for you and I is does your spouse know that you love them no matter what, that you love every imperfection, every quirk, every request that they make.  My husband has a specific way he likes his sandwhich made, he has certain noises that he does not appreciate.  While as a mom I have learned to tune many sounds out I choose to try and eliminate those sounds in his presence.  I have joked about his preferences when it comes to food, and he often reminds me he is not complaining, but if he can make a certain request well then he has one.  I have grown to love those what some would call silly requests, because it’s him, it’s who he is, and he is the one I love.  

With being pregnant you don’t always feel your greatest, you can feel fat, you can feel bad because you are running low on energy and haven’t kept up with household chores as usual.  You are extra emotional which some days is good and others not so good.  I am grateful my husband has voiced his appreciation for the things I do and also voiced he’s okay that some things are not done and he knows I am extra tired at times, or forgetful with pregnancy brain.  I am grateful he has stepped up to help around the house and accomplish my honey do list.  I am grateful he reminds my boys to be extra helpful with picking up things and carrying things for mom.  I know that because my husband is helpful that my boys have learned to be helpful with carrying laundry up and down the stairs for me, with helping with the dust pan when I sweep, so I don’t have to bend down.  

I am taking the time to write this to encourage you to be sensitive to those in your life, yes your spouse, but also your children, and the other people in your life.  Make room for them when they are having a moment.  Sometimes we don’t always know what people are going through that we forget to reassure them that they are enough, that they are loved, and appreciated when they are on their A game and also when they’re not.  We should love the people in our lives not because the services they provide but because who they are as a person.  A great example is our kids, we love our kids even when they are not big enough to help, even though they often create more work and mess for us to clean-up, even though they often create extra costs for us.  We do not expect anything in return for the love and many things we do for our children.  We should express the same love and effort for our spouse.   

If you have a pregnant friend in your life, remind yourself of what it was like to be pregnant, and be helpful to them or least give them the time or space they need in facing the joyous moment but also some uncomfortable moments.  Don't take it personal if they are being a little extra emotional or snippy.  They do not need negative comments about their mood, they need your love, support, reassurance.   

If you have a toddler in your life, remind yourself they are learning to express themselves and learning to handle their emotions and sometimes when they are having a meltdown it’s not because they are just being a brat, but they don’t know how to fully express themselves, sometimes it is because they need a nap, or need something to eat or it’s due to what is going on around them the stresses they sense from their parents.  I have watched my boys become clingy when I am pregnant, not my older ones this time around but each time I have been pregnant my toddler seemed more clingy and whiny.  It has amazed me, the minute you bring home that new baby, that same whiny toddler that has been stretching my patience seems to grow up overnight.  They act much older, they are helpful and seem so grownup.   

If you have a friend or relative in your life who is having a tougher financial time be sensitive to their situation and the mood they may be in.  If you know someone who is going through a separation or divorce be sensitive to their situation, be helpful if you can, be a listening ear, have them over for dinner recognize how their entire life as they knew it is changing.  

Remember it is not only negative things that affect people’s moods but even good things, like having a new baby, starting a new job, moving into a new house.  These are things that are good but can also be stressful on people.  Change can affect our sleeping habits, our eating habits and our everyday routines, which can have us on edge or mentally checked out.  So the next time your spouse or friend is having a tougher moment, don’t take it personal, pause and take a look at what is taking place in their life and then ask yourself how you can help, how you can make life easier for them.  How you can reassure them they are loved, accepted and will get through this both good and bad things.  Express to them you are by there side, never giving up on them, never walking away. 

Make time this week to write a note or send a text to your spouse telling them you appreciate them for who they are in your life.  It is good to appreciate what they do for your family, but also sometimes let your appreciation for them not surround only what they do or provide but voice appreciation for who they are.  Express how much you need and value their love, friendship, support, laugh, funny quirk.  Pick out something about them that you adore, cherish and sometimes take for granted and reassure them they are the love of your life, your heart’s desire.  

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